Skeleton jokes are winners for people who enjoy dressing up in black clothing they decorate with glow-in-the-dark markers. The jokes are as universal as the costume and never get old, unlike skeletons.
Most skeleton jokes are used to get people laughing around the Halloween holiday. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t tell these jokes all year long.
50+ Best Skeleton Jokes
Skeleton Jokes for Kids
- What was the skeleton’s favorite musical instrument? The trom-bone.
- How did the skeleton know it was going to rain? It could feel it in its bones.
- Why didn’t the skeleton go to the scary movie? He didn’t have the guts!
- Why did the skeleton have to go to church to play music? They don’t have any organs!
- What does a skeleton use to call his friends? A tele-bone.
- When does a skeleton laugh? When something tickles his funny bone.
- What store do skeletons love to snack at when they visit the mall? Cinnabone.
Funny Skeleton Jokes
- Who is the most famous skeleton detective? Sherlock Bones.
- What song do skeleton bikers ride to? Bone to be wild.
- What song do skeleton crooks listen to after a heist? Bad to the Bone.
- What was the skeletons favorite rock band? The Grateful Dead.
- How did skeletons send mail in the old days? The bony express!
- Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop.
- A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer, and a mop
- Skeleton reporters have risen from the dead. They bring grave news.
- I’d make a skeleton joke for Halloween, but you wouldn’t find it very humerus.
- Why are skeletons bad at high-stress jobs? Because they’re easily rattled!
- What did the skeleton say to his enemy? I’ve got a bone to pick with you
- Do you want to see my skeleton collection? I currently only have 1, and I’m not looking to expand.
- Why did the skeleton get in a bar fight? Because he couldn’t hold his liquor.
Skeleton Dad Jokes
- What do you call a skeleton who won’t work? Lazy bones.
- What do you call a tiny lie told by a skeleton? A little fib-ula.
- What do skeletons say as they head out to sea? Bone voyage!
- Who is the most famous French skeleton? Napoleon bone-apart.
- What do skeletons order at restaurants? Spare ribs!
- Why did the skeleton go to the dance? To see the boogie man.
- How do skeletons say hello? Bonejour.
- Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
- Why do skeletons hate the winter? Because the cold goes right through them.
- What do you call a skeleton who went out in the snow? A numbskull!
- What was the skeleton doing at the hockey game? Driving the zam-boney.
- Where did the skeleton put his money? In the Crypt-o-Market.
- What do you call a cleaning skeleton? The grim sweeper
- What did the skeleton whisper to his wife? I love every bone in your body!
- What is a skeleton’s favorite vegetable? Corn on the macabre
- How did the skeleton try to build muscle? By doing dead lifts.
- What kind of clubs do skeletons go to? Hip joints.
Long Skeletong Jokes
- A couple is taking a tour through the Natural History Museum. They ask the tour guide: “How old is this dinosaur skeleton?” He replies: “It is sixty-five million and fourteen years and three months old.”
“Wow! It’s amazing that you can tell this precisely. How do you do that? Is it with carbon dating?”
“I don’t know,” says the guide. “But when I first came here, they told me it was sixty-five million years old. And I started here fourteen years and three months ago.”
- The bartender slides him a glass of milk, and the skeleton says:
“Really Jerry? I’ve known you for 20 years, and you do this?”
The bartender replies:
“Oh, sorry, I thought it would be funny. You know being a skeleton and all…”
To which the skeleton responds:
“What, no. You forgot I was lactose intolerant “
Adult and Dark Skeleton Jokes
- Why didn’t the skeleton eat spicy food? He didn’t have the stomach for it.
- Who won the skeleton beauty contest? No body.
- What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in a house? The living room
- A skeleton walks down the street, he sees a hearse and yells “TAXI!”
- A skeleton walked into the doctor. The doctor said, “Aren’t you a little late?”
- How do skeletons make money online? Bonely fans.
- What do skeletons use to mug people? A shoulder blade
- There are no skeletons in my closet. The bodies haven’t decomposed yet.
- Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween. It’s terrible for the environment. Locally sourced, all-natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly.
- How do skeletons get COVID? From the coffin!
Halloween Knock Knock Jokes
- Knock Knock! Who’s there? It’s the skeleton in your closet, let me out of here!
- Knock knock! Who’s there? Eddie. Eddie who? Eddie body seen my body?
- Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Eva. Eva who? Eva seen a skeleton?
- Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Skully. Skully who? Skully-ton is bone-shakin’ at your door!