Winter jokes are a great way to be the “coolest” person the the room. They revolve around snow, ice, and wintertime animals. Jokes about winter also help break the ice at winter balls and holiday parties.
But even in the summer, they help you stay cool and have many benefits. So don’t be afraid to share these jokes about winter all year round.
78 Best Winter Jokes to Break the Ice
Winter Jokes for Kids
- What kind of math do Snowy Owls do best? Owlgebra.
- How does a North Pole carpenter fix something broken? Igloos it together.
- What often falls at the North Pole but never gets hurt? Snow.
- What do Snowmen call their offspring? Chill-dren.
- How do you know when it is too cold to picnic outside? You chip your tooth on your soup!
- Why did the bear keep getting fired? He always disappeared in the winter.
- Why are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They’re both below C level.
- What do you call a prom in the North Pole? A snow ball.
- I used to be a fortune teller, but I kept predicting snowstorms. It turns out I wasn’t using a crystal ball; it was a snow globe.
- Why was the snowman rummaging through the bag of carrots? He was picking his nose.
- Why did Queen Elsa fall off her sled? She let it go.
- What did the police officer say when he saw the snowman stealing? Freeze!
- What can you catch in the winter, even with your eyes closed? A cold.
- Which side of a polar bear has the most fur? The outside.
- What happened when an icicle landed on the girl’s head? It knocked her out cold!
- Where do you go to learn about the history of ice cream? Sundae School.
- Why do birds fly south for the winter? Because it’s too far to walk.
- What do you call a penguin in the Sahara Desert? Lost.
- What do you call a snowman in August? A puddle.
- What bites but doesn’t have teeth Frost.
- Why was the king penguin’s wife so misunderstood? She was a total ice queen.
Winter Dad Jokes
- Why do seals swim in saltwater? Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
- What do you get when you milk a cow in the winter? Ice cream.
- Which is faster, hot or cold? Hot—you can catch cold pretty easily!
- What food do you get when you cross a snowman with a wolf? A brrrr-grrr.
- What do snowmen win at the Olympics? Cold medals!
- What do you call a penguin with no eye? A pengun.
- What did the big furry hat say to the warm woolly scarf? You hang around while I go on ahead.
- Who were Frosty’s parents? Mom and Popsicle.
- What kind of ball doesn’t bounce? A snowball.
- How did the snow globe feel after hearing a scary story? A bit shook up.
- Why didn’t the whistleblower go outside during the winter? He was Snowden.
- What did the walrus say when it was late? I would have been here sooner, but my iceberg hit a ship.
- What happens when you’re alone in the water and get too cold? You’re totally ice-olated.
- What do mountains wear to stay warm? Snowcaps.
- What’s the weatherman’s favorite food in winter? Brrr-itos!
- What did the tree say after a long, cold winter? What a re-leaf!
- How do snowmen buy birthday presents? With cold, hard cash.
- What does a gingerbread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet!
- What does a barbershop serve in winter? Cold cuts!
- How do you get a snow monster to go away? Get into a heated argument.
- Why did Dad stop using his loyalty card to scrape ice from his windshield? He only got 10% off.
- What time is it when little white flakes fall outside the classroom window? Snow and Tell.
Winter Jokes for Adults
- Why did the husband pour warm water on his computer? He had asked his wife what to do if windows froze.
- Did you hear about the man buried alive under a sudden snowstorm? He was feeling under the weather.
- How can you find Will Smith in the snow? You look for Fresh Prints!
- What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backward through the snow together? A receding hare line.
- Why don’t you see penguins in Britain? They’re afraid of Wales.
- Grandma’s been staring through the window ever since it started to snow. If it gets any worse, I’ll have to let her in.
- What vegetable was forbidden on the ships of Arctic explorers? Leeks.
- What do you call a play or musical in the North Pole? Snow business.
Snowman Jokes
- What do you call a gangsta snowman? Froze-T.
- What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes.
- What did the investigator say to the snowman? Icy right through your lies.
- What did the snowman say after losing its arm? I’m never playing fetch again!
- Where does a snowman get the weather report? The winternet.
- Why is Frosty never late? Time waits for snow man.
- What does the snowman take when he’s worried about melting? A chill pill.
- How does a snowman get to work? By icicle.
- Who is Frosty’s favorite Aunt? Aunt Artica!
- What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman? Frostbite!
- What did one snowman say to the other snowman? Can you smell carrot?
- What do you call an old snowman? Water.
- Has the abominable snowman called? Not Yeti.
- What’s the best way to scare a snowman? Talk about global warming.
- Why was the little snowman sad? Cause he had a meltdown.
- What do you call a snowman with abs? An abdominal snowman.
- What did one snowman say to the other? Do you smell carrot?
- Who were the snowman’s parents? Mom and popsicle!
Winter Knock Knock Jokes
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Icy. Icy who? Icy you!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Snow. Snow who? Snow use telling, I can’t remember!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Holly. Holly who? Holly-days are back again!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Freeze. Freeze who? Freeze a jolly good fellow, freeze a jolly good fellow.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Snow. Snow who? Snowbody home.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gladys. Gladys who? Gladys winter. What about you?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Atch. Atch who? Bless you!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ivan. Ivan who? Ivan awful cold right now.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Icy. Icy who? Icy a long cold winter coming!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Snow. Snow who? This weather is snow joke!