Secrets to Stress-Free Motherhood

Being a mom can be super hard and sometimes you might feel like you’re losing more than you’re winning. You might not always feel like the happiest mom which in itself can make you feel worse about everything you’re doing so it’s time to stop the problem before it even begins.

It’s really important that you know how to be a happy mom because your mood has a huge impact on your kids and they tend to be a lot happier when you are. So let’s take a look at some things moms do to be happier and some happy mom hacks to improve your family life.

Understanding the Journey of Motherhood

The first thing you need to do in order to be your happiest self is understand everything you’ve been through already in order to get to this stage. Moms go through so much for their children, which is easy to forget when they’re running around after toddlers and forgetting to look out for themselves.

Pregnancy and anticipation – Many people think that the first thing a mother does for their kid is carry them for nine months but there are so many emotions that come before this. Whether you’ve been trying for a while or you get pregnant on your first attempt, the emotions are going to be overwhelming. This is something you not only have to physically prepare for but you also have to make sure you’re in a good state of mind to go through everything that’s about to happen. Then you have to actually carry your baby until they are born which is a whole other mess of emotions. Your hormones are always changing so this can be emotionally draining but you’re also growing another human inside of you so your body is going through things it’s probably never been through before. After all those physical and emotional changes, you get to give birth to your baby which is a beautiful thing but try not to forget how taxing that is on someone’s body and mind.

Newborns and sleepless nights – After your pregnancy is over and you’ve given birth to your beautiful baby you get the joys of not sleeping through the night for the next three years. The newborn stage is tough and don’t let yourself forget that you got through it. If you’re a first time parent then you’re probably quite nervous about everything and that’s perfectly normal but it can be really draining as well. Babies also tend not to sleep through the night for a while so lack of sleep can make everything else feel so much worse. If you’re currently here then you will make it through this stage and if you’re already out the other side then give yourself a pat on the back.

The toddler years and tantrums – Babies usually cry because they’re hungry or they need something but toddlers cry for so many different reasons. They’re growing and learning all these new things that you have to teach them but they’re also learning how to deal with emotions. Their emotions are the same size as ours but in a much smaller body so everything is way more overwhelming. You’ve taught your tiny human to exist and that’s something you should be really proud of.

Realistic Expectations

The most important thing about all these different stages is that you have realistic expectations for all of them. Don’t push yourself too hard and get help when you need it otherwise, you’re never going to get the happiness that you’re looking for. Being a happy mom can be really easy when you aren’t constantly putting yourself down so remind yourself that you’re doing great and that you’re learning just as much as your little one.

Self-Care for Moms

One of the best ways to help get your spark back is to make sure you give yourself time to unwind and be by yourself. Self care is so important yet so many parents forget about it in the chaos of the day. Try and find time every day or week to do one thing for yourself and you’ll soon see how much better you feel.

Self-care Ideas for Busy Moms

Meditation and mindfulness – This is something that you can do super quickly whilst your kid is having a nap before they wake up, or after they go to bed because it doesn’t take much time at all. All you need to do is go into a quiet room and let yourself just exist for a minute. Try some breathing exercises if you can or listen to some guided meditation. You can also keep a mindfulness journal to help keep track of your emotions.

Exercise and physical health – Exercise can go either way when you have a kid and that’s okay. Some parents can take their kids on walks or to the gym and are still able to keep on top of their physical health that way but others can’t for different reasons. If you aren’t one of those people then try and find an hour or two every couple of days where you can leave your kid with someone else so that you can go to the gym or on a run.

Nurturing hobbies and passions – One thing you need to remember as a parent is not to give up on your hobbies because you need to keep in touch with yourself. Try and do your hobbies at least once a week, whether it’s reading or something creative like crocheting or something physical like running, it really will do you the power of good. If you don’t have any hobbies that you’re a fan of then what’s the harm in finding a new one?

Seeking support from family and friends – There’s a saying that says ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ and they couldn’t be more right. Try to surround yourself with people that make you feel good and people that are always looking out for you. Whether you take your kid or not is completely up to you but try and visit family when you can or go out for coffee with your friends. This is also great if you have other parent friends that need a break because your kids can entertain each other whilst you both get a much needed break.

Balancing Motherhood and Personal Life

It can feel almost impossible to balance motherhood as well as everything else going on in your life so here are some things you can try to take some of that stress off yourself.

Setting boundaries – The first thing you want to do is set boundaries, and we don’t necessarily mean with your kids. If you have older kids then it’s easier to set boundaries with them but if you’re still in the toddler stage then this might be a little harder. Lucky for you, there are plenty of other people you can set boundaries with that you might not even realize are stressing you out. Maybe you have family members that insist you come around every weekend? Well now is the time to let them know that this isn’t going to be a regular thing if you feel you need that time to yourself. Instead, try every other week or days in the week for a few hours. This will free up your weekends to do things with your immediate family or even have some time to yourself. You can also set boundaries with your partner so that you’re both on the same page when it comes to parenting. You’d be surprised how much stress comes from partners not communicating their needs to each other which leads to miscommunications and more stress than is needed.

The importance of a support network – You might think you can’t have people in your support network if you’ve set a boundary with them but this couldn’t be further from the truth. Good people will want to stick around even if you’ve set a boundary so always keep that in mind. It’s so important to have people around you and that you see people on your own, without your partner or kids. You still deserve time to yourself even as a parent.

Asking for help when needed – It’s also really important that you ask for help when you think you need it. This can be friends and family but it can also be within your own home. If there’s a specific chore you usually do and you really don’t think you can give it your all this week then ask your partner what can be done about it. Maybe there’s a chore you could swap this one time or maybe you could do it together which will also give you some time to spend together. There are always going to be people who want to help you so you don’t have to deal with everything on your own.

Fostering Positive Relationships with Your Children

One thing that people tend not to think about when they’re a parent is how their relationship with their child is affecting their mood. So what exactly can not only help your relationship with your child but can also make you a happier parent for them?

The power of bonding and connection – Bonding with your kid is so important and it’s something you should always do, no matter their age. You’re the first person they’re ever going to know and you should always be the first person they turn to when there is a problem – whether it’s big or small. Spend quality time with all your kids doing something they love. Maybe you could have a certain day a week where you do something together, just the two of you, to really help that relationship thrive because your kids love spending time with you and they probably need this just as much as you. You’ll be surprised how amazing you feel after letting loose with them.

Communication with your kids – Communication is key to happier and healthier relationships and this is no different with your kids. Speak to them and make sure they’re always in the loop when they need to be. Try to communicate with them as much as possible and remember that they’re a lot younger than you might realize. They won’t always understand what you are saying and they are also not always going to be able to communicate their feelings to you – patience is your go to here. Communication is an amazing way to lower the amount of screaming matches that happen in a house and I think everyone agrees that this will make everyone a lot happier.

Creating family traditions and memories – Family traditions are one of the things that most adults remember from their childhood so make sure you create these with your own children. Whether it’s Friday movie night or Saturday pizza night they are another great way to have a good relationship with your kid and give them things to look forward to. Kids absolutely love getting involved in things like cooking and planning and it also provides them with a way to figure out where they are in the week when they are too young to understand or know the days of the week. We’re sure there’ll be lots of smiles and great memories to look back on.

So if you’re asking yourself what makes a great mom the honest answer is a mom that is happy, a mom that isn’t afraid to ask for help or to take time for herself without feeling guilty. Some of the things we mentioned won’t take you much time at all but can make such a big difference to your mood so why not give them a try. After all, a happy mom raises happy children and that should give you all the encouragement you ever need to find yourself in this often difficult journey of being a mom.