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70 Coffee Quotes for Any Situation

By Elisha Baba


Updated on

Coffee quotes are funny sayings or phrases which describe the most important beverage on this earth, coffee. Whether you want to post one on your social media, or just send a funny coffee quote to your friend, it’s important to have a few on hand for when the situation presents itself.

70 Coffee Quotes for Any Situation

How to Use Coffee Quotes

You can use coffee quotes for several purposes, based on how often you drink a cup of coffee in a day. Start the morning off right by saying a coffee quote to a friend meeting you for coffee or cheer up your favorite barista by telling him or her a funny coffee quote.

Coffee quotes can also be used as email signatures or as a caption when you post a cup of coffee on your Instagram story. If you have a friend who loves coffee as much as you, they can help you bond over your favorite beverage.

Benefits of Coffee Quotes

  • You can always say something funny or thoughtful about your coffee.
  • Coffee quotes can be used to make cute coffee-related gifts for your friends.
  • You can use coffee quotes as an email signature.
  • There won’t be any stress when thinking about what caption to post with a picture of your coffee on social media.
  • Coffee quotes can get a laugh out of your coworkers and boss at the morning meeting.

70 Best Coffee Quotes for Any Coffee Situation

Quotes About Coffee

  1. “Coffee is already known to be a preventative factor against mild depression, Parkinson’s disease, and colon and rectal cancers.”—Chris Kilham
  2. “Our culture runs on coffee and gasoline, the first often tasting like the second.”—Edward Abbey
  3. “You can’t have a decent food culture without a decent coffee culture: the two things grow up together.”—Adam Gopnik
  4. “We want to do a lot of stuff; we’re not in great shape. We didn’t get a good night’s sleep. We’re a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.”—Jerry Seinfeld
  5. “Coffee is the great incentivizer in the office.”—Michael Scott
  6. “Coffee smells like freshly ground heaven.”—Jessi Lane Adams
  7. “Coffee, the favorite drink of the civilized world.”—Thomas Jefferson
  8. “No matter what historians claimed, BC really stood for ‘Before Coffee.’ ”—Cherise Sinclair
  9. “Coffee is a language in itself.”—Jackie Chan
  10. “No coffee can be good in the mouth that does not first send a sweet offering of odor to the nostrils.” —Henry Ward Beecher

Funny Coffee Quotes

  1. “Almost all my middle-aged and elderly acquaintances, including me, feel about 25, unless we haven’t had our coffee, in which case we feel 107.”—Martha Beck
  1. “I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.”—Eddie Izzard
  1. “I quit coffee. It won’t be easy drinking my Bailey’s straight but I’ll get used to it. It’ll still be the best part of waking up.”—Megan Mullally
  1. “Reading in bed can be heaven, assuming you can get just the right amount of light on the page and aren’t prone to spilling your coffee or cognac on the sheets.”—Stephen King
  1. “My couch is coffee-colored. I can thank Starbucks and clumsiness for that.”—Jarod Kintz
  1. “What on earth could be more luxurious than a sofa, a book, and a cup of coffee?”—Anthony Trollope
  2. “I can’t stop drinking the coffee. I stop drinking the coffee, I stop doing the standing, and the walking, and the words-putting-into-sentences doing.”—Lorelai Gilmore
  3. “Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.”—Earl Wilson
  4. “I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon.”—Ronald Reagan
  5. “Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.”—Dave Berry
  6. “Television is not real life. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.”—Charles J. Sykes
  7. “Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?” —Jean Kerr

Good Morning Coffee Quotes

  1. “I wake up some mornings and sit and have my coffee and look out at my beautiful garden, and I go, ‘Remember how good this is. Because you can lose it.'”—Jim Carrey
  2. “When I wake up in the morning, I just can’t get started until I’ve had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I’ve tried other enemas…”—Emo Philips
  3. “Once you wake up and smell the coffee, it’s hard to go back to sleep.”—Fran Drescher
  4. “Coffee first. Schemes later.” —Leanna Renee Hieber
  5. “I need a coffee to go with my coffee.” —Zooey Deschanel
  6. “I orchestrate my mornings to the tune of coffee.”—Harry Mahtar
  7. “When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee.” —Helen Hayes

Coffee Lover Quotes

  1. “Drinking a cup of coffee with your eyes closed isn’t a sophisticated task for a person, but it’s hard for a robot.”—Vijjay Kumar
  2. “I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.” —Steven Wright
  3. “Up to a thousand milligrams of caffeine is considered safe for most people, which translates into about 10 cups of coffee a day.”—Michael Greger
  4. “I like instant gratification. It’s like instant coffee, only it won’t keep you up at night.”—Jarod Kintz
  5. “Live life today like there is no coffee tomorrow.”—Meik Wiking
  6. “Adventure in life is good; consistency in coffee even better.”—Justina Chen
  7. “Smell the roses. Smell the coffee. Whatever it is that makes you happy.” —Rita Moreno

Inspirational Quotes About Coffee

  1. “The smell of fresh-made coffee is one of the world’s greatest inventions.”—Hugh Jackman
  2. “Three hundred years ago, during the Age of Enlightenment, the coffee house became the center of innovation.”—Peter Diamonde
  3. “He was my cream, and I was his coffee – And when you poured us together, it was something.”—Josephine Baker
  4. “As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be?”—Cassandra Clare
  5. “I think the key to the start of any good relationship is to remember how the other person likes their coffee.”—J. Lynn
  6. “The powers of a man’s mind are directly proportioned to the quantity of coffee he drinks.”—Sir James Mackintosh
  7. “Don’t ever let anyone tell you that fairy tales aren’t real. I drink a potion made from magic beans every day, and it brings me back to life.” —Nanea Hoffman
  8. “To do good work one must eat well, be well housed, have one’s fling from time to time, smoke one’s pipe, and drink one’s coffee in peace.”—Vincent Van Gogh
  9. “I believe humans get a lot done, not because we’re smart, but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee.”—Flash Rosenberg

Addicted to Coffee Quotes

  1. “Even a bad cup of coffee is better than no coffee at all.”—David Lynch
  2. “My children know not to shout before Mummy has warmed herself into something human with her coffee.”—Ben Kidron
  3. “I gave up coffee. It’s almost worse than giving up a lover.” —Sandra Bullock
  4. “It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.”—Dave Berry
  5. “Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.”—Holly Black
  6. “If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.”—Abraham Lincoln
  7. “I’ll read my books and I’ll drink coffee and I’ll listen to music, and I’ll bolt the door.”—J.D. Salinger
  8. “I’d never met coffee that wasn’t wonderful. It was just a matter of how wonderful it was.”—Laurell K. Hamilton
  9. “This left me alone to solve the coffee problem—a sort of catch-22, as in order to think straight I need caffeine, and in order to make that happen I need to think straight.”—David Sedaris

Short Quotes About Coffee

  1. “I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.”—Lewis Black
  2. “Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?”—Steven Wright
  3. “If it wasn’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.”—David Letterman
  4. “Never trust anyone who doesn’t drink coffee.”—AJ Lee
  5. “I judge a restaurant by the bread and by the coffee.”—Burt Lancaster
  6. “I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.”—T.S. Eliot
  7. “I’d rather take coffee than compliments just now.”—Louisa May Alcott
  8. “Nothing says coffee like six in the morning.”—Lorelai Gilmore
  9. “Without my morning coffee, I’m just like a dried-up piece of goat.”—Johann Sebastian Bach
  10. “Life’s too short for bad coffee.” —Gord Downie
  11. “Coffee is my water now.” —Becky G
  12. “Drink coffee! Do stupid things faster and with more energy!” —Darynda Jones
  13. “Coffee smells like magic and fairy tales.” —Allison Czarnecki
  14. “Never say no to coffee.” —Cesar
  15. “You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy coffee, and that’s pretty close.” —Unknown
  16. “Coffee: creative lighter fluid.” —Floyd Maxwell

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