The worst things houseguests can do can change a well-intended visit into a stressful experience for their hosts. When staying in someone else’s home, it is important for houseguests to gain insight into the proper etiquette. In order to avoid discomfort and maintain a positive and respectful relationship, there are certain behaviors that should be avoided.
8 Houseguest Behaviors to Avoid
1. Arriving Uninvited
Arriving uninvited at someone’s home is always a bad idea, especially if you are planning to stay overnight or for multiple days. Always coordinate as far in advance as possible, working around the homeowner’s schedule to ensure your visit is both convenient for you and them.
Additionally, you should share your arrival and departure times as soon as you know them; that way, the host knows exactly when they need to stay by the door to anticipate your arrival.
2. Not Adjusting to The Host’s Schedule
Everyone wakes up and goes to bed at different hours. When arriving at someone else’s home, it is polite to adhere to their schedule, even if it is different from your own.
Think of it this way, how would you feel if you were woken up early by a guest? Or kept up later than normal? Chances are you would be a bit grouchy, which can cause friction between a host and an overnight guest.
It’s best to ask about the host’s schedule right away, so you can both anticipate your waking and sleeping times. Even if you can’t sleep quite as early as your host, spend the time quietly in your room or on the couch reading to be respectful of their schedule.
3. Not Cleaning Up After Yourself
When visiting someone else’s home, it’s important to remember that it is not your home. Guests should do their best to keep all of their belongings tucked away so the host doesn’t feel like their home is being overtaken.
Also, any messes made by the guest should be cleaned up promptly. There is nothing more stressful than making a host clean up after your mess in addition to their own.
4. Ignoring House Rules
Every house has its own rules. In some places, the host wants you to remove your shoes the minute you are in the door. In other homes, it is seen as impolite to remove your shoes too soon.
Disobeying house rules can cause friction between a host and their guests, especially if the host has small kids they are trying to teach to follow house rules. Having a guest break said rules can be confusing for a kid and make them believe they, too, don’t have to listen to their parent’s rules—leading to behavior problems.
The best way to ensure you follow all the house rules of the home you are visiting is to inquire about them right when you arrive. Asking the following questions can help establish some of the most basic rules right away.
- Where do you want me to keep my shoes?
- What should I do with dishes when I finish eating or drinking?
- Are there any rules about where I can eat or drink and when?
- Are there any other rules I should know?
5. Overeating During Your Stay
While visiting friends or family, it is likely they will prepare extra food and drinks for you. However, they may not anticipate all of your snacking needs. To ensure you have enough to eat or drink when visiting for an extended period of time, it is polite to bring some of your own snacks and drinks.
If you are traveling via plane, then offer to go to the grocery store when you arrive. Make sure you offer to pick up whatever your host needs as well, to be polite—after all a few groceries are cheaper than a hotel!
On occasions where there isn’t an accessible grocery store, discuss your eating habits with your host in advance and offer to chip in for any special products you would like them to pick up for your stay.
Don’t forget that there are many grocery delivery services these days, which can ensure you get the products you want delivered to your host’s home in advance of your stay.
6. Expecting the Host to Always Cook
Cooking can be a hassle, especially if it is for more individuals than normal. As a houseguest, you should never expect the host to cook meals for each night of your stay, especially during long stays.
For the best results, the details of who will cook and when should be discussed prior to arrival, especially when staying for two or more nights. It is best practice to offer to cook at least one meal during your stay, or if you can’t cook, offer to take the host out to dinner.
Remember to also discuss any dietary restrictions before arriving at their home. If you are staying with a vegetarian host for example, it is considered polite to also eat vegetarian during your stay.
7. Bringing Partners and Pets
Being invited to stay at someone’s home is an invitation for you and you alone. If a partner or pet wants to join you on your trip, then this needs to be arranged with the host well in advance of your stay.
Nothing is more rude than showing up with multiple people or pets your host didn’t plan on hosting. Additionally, many hosts have pets of their own, and their pets may not be compatible with yours.
8. Expecting Your Host to Entertain You 24/7
Your host has a life of their own, and while it was nice for them to let you stay, the invitation doesn’t mean you should expect them to entertain you the entire day. Your host may have to work, attend events, or even just want some alone time, and you should be respectful of that.
The best practice as a houseguest is to make yourself scarce for at least a few hours of the day, which can easily be accomplished by taking a nap in your room during the afternoon. You can also plan your own solo activities while your host is working or attending an event.