The worst types of mothers exhibit harmful behaviors that have a negative impact on their children’s development and well-being. These behaviors can not only impact a child’s emotional stability and sense of security, but they can also have consequences that last into adulthood, affecting mental health, self-esteem, and relationships. It is important to understand the signs and characteristics of toxic mothering. By exploring the patterns of harmful maternal behaviors, you can become aware and avoid these toxic traits in order to promote a healthier family dynamic and provide a more nurturing and supportive environment.
10 Types of Moms That Are Toxic
1. The Narcissistic Mom
Having a narcissist for a parent is one of the worst experiences. Narcissistic mothers appear to only care about themselves, and this is because it’s true; they put their wants and needs before their kids.
A narcissistic mom typically sees their children as extensions of themselves and expects perfection, worried that the smallest mistake by the child will make them look bad. Children of narcissistic moms are frequently subjected to various levels of abuse, most notably neglect, as the children are left to fend for themselves while the mother focuses all of her time and energy on her own life.
2. Control Freak Mother
While the control freak mother isn’t quite as bad as the narcissistic mom, it can still be a difficult parent to deal with as a child. Control freak moms typically transform their children into perfectionists, instilling in them a fear of making even the smallest mistake.
Additionally, the control freak mom typically micro-manages their child’s life. Doing so, causes the child to feel like they don’t have a life on their own and leads them to believe they can’t make their own decisions until they eventually can’t.
3. The Perfectionist Mom
The perfectionist mom is close to the control freak, but instead of trying to control every aspect of their child’s life, they let their kid make their own decisions—only to shame them when they inevitably make a mistake. Children of perfectionist parents frequently deal with serious mental health issues later in life as they never learn to cope with their shortcomings.
A child of a perfectionist mom is often critical of themselves and can frequently experience deep depression as they believe they are unable to be loved by others because they aren’t perfect. After all, their mom didn’t love them as an imperfect child.
4. The Mom Who Lives Through Their Kids
Many parents have children just so they can live vicariously through them, wanting their children to complete their unfulfilled ambitions. While this may not seem like a big deal, it often leads to them controlling their child’s life and pushing them to do things they don’t want to do just to fulfill their own needs.
Being raised by a mother who lives through her children can lead to codependent children who are unable to make decisions on their own. They can also often experience depression and self-hatred as they find themselves unhappy with the choices their mother has made on their behalf.
5. The Emotionally Immature Mother
The emotionally immature mother expects her children to meet her physical and emotional needs, forcing the child to become the parent at a very young age. These mothers often unload a lot of their problems on the child and cause a heavy burden on young and developing minds.
Children of emotionally immature parents often grow up with an unclear idea of love, believing they have to do things and complete tasks in order to be loved. They may also not take good care of themselves because they prioritize taking care of others.
6. The Explosive Mom
An explosive mother is often the result of mental health issues, such as anger management problems or severe anxiety. A mom that is prone to explosive emotions often has mood swings in which she yells at her children for issues that aren’t a big deal.
Although everyone has bad days, the chronically explosive mom will frequently verbally abuse her children. As a result, the child grows up anxious and fearful of the people around them, which can lead to severe emotional issues.
7. The Helicopter Mom
The helicopter mom is a mother who is too involved in the lives of her children. She is always hovering, protecting them from every little thing and preventing her kids from making their own decisions.
Unfortunately, while the helicopter mother might believe she is just protecting her children, she is actually preventing them from learning boundaries. Kids of helicopter parents often grow up unable to set boundaries, which can lead to them experiencing abuse in their romantic adult relationships. They may also have trouble coping with the world and connecting with individuals their own age.
8. The Always Unavailable Mother
A lot of the moms on this list are mothers who are too involved in their child’s life, but the opposite is just as bad. A mother who is never available for her children can cause her kids to feel neglected and develop a low self-worth.
What’s worse is that children of a dismissive mom will often search for validation elsewhere. The validation they seek could lead to self-destructive behaviors and ultimately cause them to have poor mental health in the future.
9. The Unreliable Mom
Children thrive on consistency; therefore, when they have a mother who doesn’t stick to what she says, also known as the unreliable mother, the results can be horrifying. Unreliable mothers may make rules one day and then break them the next. They may also say one thing but do another.
Children of unreliable mothers often struggle to make connections and trust other friends or family. They never know when someone may be saying something, only to go back on it later. These children also frequently struggle to follow the rules, as they don’t see them as actual rules because their mother doesn’t either.
10. The Mother Who’s Dismissive
The dismissive mother is one of the worst types of mothers because whether their child does something good or bad, the mother doesn’t care. She may dismiss it via anecdote, saying that she did something better/worse or saying something negative isn’t a big deal.
Children of dismissive moms see themselves as a burden and often experience deep depression as they grow older. They may also become a perfectionist themselves, believing nothing they do will be good enough for those around them to love them.